Thursday, April 9, 2015

Positive thoughts positive thoughts.....


Okay, so this weekend has been the most stressful and also one of the most disappointing weekends yet. God wants me to learn to be patient and humble, at least thats what it seems like. General Conference weekend is one of the craziest times for a missionary, because the investigators and less actives have FIVE chances to attend church, not just one. And to be considered "progressing" they have to attend church. Also, our informs that we give each week to our leaders are expected to be five times bigger than the average sunday because its five chances, not just one.... stress? YES. I felt like dad at work when the big wigs come into town. Haha my companion and I worked so so hard this week, but everyone was out of town, busy, hiding from us, or just plain out rejecting us. We had two rays of hope, a man named Israel, and another investigator named Omar. They both told us they were gonna come to the conference. 

Israel, starting saturday night rejected our phone calls and likes to pretend he isnt home. So he never showed up. And Omar told us that he was on his way and we waited....and waited....and waited.... but he never came. Turns out he went out of town and didnt wanna make us feel bad. Haha

So after the conferences we were in a meeting with the other missionaries in our zone and one by one we had to tell our leaders how many people we brought to church... every companionship brought people...2...3.. even 4 or 5 people to church. When it was my turn I was feeling pretty down... we were the only missionaries that didnt have anyone at the conferences. We are having a hard time finding investigators and the investigators that we DO have, arent really progressing.

At first I was embarassed.. wondering if all the missionaries think that we werent working, or that we were slacking off.... So that night when I was praying I was feeling pretty down, but after I was laying in bed trying to sleep a thought came to me that made me understand a little bit better. I know that I have been working hard, my companin knows that we have been working hard... and most importantly God knows that we have been working hard. Thats the only thing that matters! Sometimes as missionaries we have to pass through difficulties just to understand a small portion (really really small portion) of what our Savior suffered for us a long time ago.

Also, we had a really stange but (awesome) expirience the other week with hermana espinoza before those cambios....

There we were teaching a lesson at two of our investigators la la la la laaaa todo esta bien, when all of the sudden the neighbor, who just so happens to be an evangelist preacher walked in. So we thought "well, we better keep teaching" until about two minutes in she interupted me and started "preaching" saying all kinds of horrible things about our church, about us as missinaries, about the united states, alllllllllll kinds of stuff. For like ten minutes. We tried talking and continuing our lesson but she kept interupting us. It was awful. I was so nervous I was shaking... But I hurried and did a prayer asking to know what to do. And thats when a picture came to mind... a picture I have seen about a million times in seminary, primary, sunday school.... The picture is from a story in the book of Mormon. When Abinadi is in shackles, standing infront of the wicked king Noah and his priests (I think they are his priests... no me recuerdo) and he is bearing his testimony and king noah wanted to kill him but he was filled with the power of God that gave him the strength to bear deliver his message. So, after a couple of more quick prayers, I slowly stood up (I was so freaking nervous) and began to bear my testimony. Saying that I know God loves us. That we have been called by him to declare the gospel, that im not here to judge or be judged but to show people the way to God, etc...for about 5 minutues (it felt like 10 years) and when I had finished I felt tears running down my face, I didnt even know that I had been crying. We said sorry to our investigators and told them that we would come back another time, and left. But I really am so grateful for every primary lesson, early morning seminary, and whatever other preperation that I had for this experience. I know God is with us, and if we have the courage to open our mouths he will fill us with what to say. As a reminder of this night I now have this picture of Abinadi taped on the wall next to my bed.

anyways, as you can tell, ive had an interesting week, haha and the people here dont celebrate easter, so thats lame. So no fancy dinner for me, lol but im glad to know all is well at home!

I hope you all had a good week, and dont worry next week I will send pictures! I love you all so so so much :)
hna Miller

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