- First off you should always leave the Disco before dawn.
- Silence is Golden, but duct tape is Silver ;)
- Therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is cheap...Your choice.
- Eat it, Don't tweet it.
- Once you turn 60 don't pass a bathroom and never trust a fart!
- Don't sneeze when you are pregnant and have to pee.
- Correct punctuation is crucial. Example: "Let's Eat, Grandpa" vs. "Let's Eat Grandpa"
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Get hurt? No band-aids? Rub some dirt on it!
- Stop drinking Haterade (Hehe get it...Gatorade...But with Hate. Don't get it? Okay... Never mind.)
- Take a chill pill
- What not to do at a stoplight: Email, text, change clothes, put on makeup, write a poem, finger paint, make a sandwich, use the restroom, watch a movie, Go-Go dance, play COD, go fishing, .... and for those of you not catching the reference...it's Spongebob.
Annnnnnnnnnd *Insert random photo here*